Grief is a funny thing. For the past two days, I have felt a big tear under the top lid of my left eye. I can feel it there, but when I go to brush it away with my finger I cannot find it.
Seventh Month
Today marks the beginning of seven months of being on the Take Shape for Life program.
On May 7th, I put my size 22 jeans on, packed my bag full of Medifast meals and went on a day trip with my girlfriends. I hadn’t told any of them that I was starting this thing until I showed up with my snacks. They must have thought I was crazy, but I was terrified of failing. See, I’d tried so many times and after a few weeks and a few pounds, I’d be right back to my evil ways of eating. In that first week, I lost 9 pounds.
Today marks seven months, and I can wear a size 14. I have lost 61 pounds. I weigh less than I did when I got married 9 1/2 years ago. If I lose 15 more pounds, I will be where I was in high school (almost 20 years ago).
My weight loss has slowed down a lot. I am not religious about the 5 & 1 plan, because this thing is hardwired. I’m going to keep on eating healthy overall. On a meal to meal basis, I might not make the mark, but overall, I’m hitting the target.
I am no longer terrified of failing.
I know my triggers, and sometimes I give into those triggers. But, at the next meal or the next morning, I start right back where I left it. This thing is a way of life now.
The other amazing change for me is that several months ago, I decided to start coaching for the program. I have debated about posting this news on the blog, because (while only a few folks look at it) making that choice dissolves my anonymity. On the other hand, there might be someone out there that would like some support in their goals from someone who’s walked that path. So here goes…if you’ve stumbled across this, and you’re interested in Take Shape for Life or Medifast (doing the program or coaching), consider contacting me: http://www.facebook.com/amyknight51
I hesitated about coaching in much the same way that I hesitated about doing the program. I thought I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t sure if it would work. I didn’t have enough confidence in myself to think that anyone would pick me to help them. But, I have loved it so far. It keeps me accountable, and I get to help people get healthy. Not a bad gig after all.
Cheers to Month Seven! Cheers to success! Cheers to getting healthy!
Skinny Jeans
Hubby (who is the best Hubby in the whole world…I don’t care how good yours is, mine is the best) is folding laundry (exhibit A) and comes into the kitchen holding a pair of my jeans and says, “It is amazing how small you’re getting.”
Yep, it’s pretty darn cool. That horrible little voice inside of me pushes words out of my mouth in a response that goes like this, “Yeah, but they’re really tight.” Yeesh! Can’t a girl take a compliment? I have really got to get better about that.
Okay, back to the good stuff. I have lost 45 pounds. And, I have the best Hubby. And, I stayed on plan all day and didn’t eat that scone this morning. And, tomorrow is Friday! And, and, and…..
My Levi jeans that I got for about $16 at TJ Maxx look kinda skinny.
What’s the word?
What’s the word I’m looking for? The one that describes that feeling you get when you know the long weekend is coming to an end? Well, that’s how I’m feeling today.
I’ve been introspective today. It’s a rainy, sleep late, don’t shower ’til noon, dress in all black (and flip-flops), stare off into space kind of day.
This afternoon, I did break out of my bear den and see a movie with a friend compliments of tickets from another friend, and I had a free soda with my Regal-a-tor discount card. How wonderful! I share that to say that once the movie was over, we emerged out of the theater and into sheets of rain. I jogged all the way to the car which was at the far end of the lot and didn’t get out of breath. Now, that is freakin’ fabulous. This Take Shape for Life thing really works.
I celebrated by having a nice glass of water and a hot brownie with a spoonful of peanut butter on top. Right now, I am sitting quite comfortably in a favorite chair waiting on this good day to roll to an end, and I’m reflecting on how easy it’s been to lose 41.7 pounds.
The Big 4…0
I finally hit 40 pounds today. During the last couple of weeks, I have battled the same 2 pounds and thought I’d never get over that Hump ‘O 38.
It took me 16 weeks to get to 40.7. It’s still an average of about 2 1/2 pounds a week.
I have, on occasion, what I call Wardrobe Malfunction. I used to have this event happen on days where I felt too fat to wear anything in the closet which resulted in a frantic pre-work scramble of trying everything on in the closet and ending with a heaping pile of clothes needing to be re-hung and me getting to work after having an almost-emotional meltdown over an outfit. How silly and self-indulgent of me. It’s quite ridiculous.
Well, I’m having Wardrobe Malfunctions again lately. Everything it too big, and somehow I managed to get bleach on the butt of the one pair of black pants that actually kinda fit. The solution will be shopping, I suppose. I’d like to say that I usually love shopping, but I really don’t want to spend the money.
Shopping is so overwhelming now, too. I no longer go to the Fluffy Girl section, so a whole new world of racks has opened up to me. I don’t even know where to start. You know, the Fluffy Girl section only has about 8 racks of clothes versus the 80 in the Regular Girl section. I had purchased a few things from the Regular Girl section a couple of weeks ago which I decided I didn’t really want because I’m hoping to lose more weight, so I returned them yesterday with the hopes of finding the Black Pant Replacement. I came home with red shoes and no black pants. It sure feels good to be 40 pounds lighter, but I think I need a Xanax.
Week Thirteen Wrap Up
I wrapped up Week 13 yesterday at a 35 pound total weight loss. That’s about a 2.7 pounds a week average. I cheated once this week with about six ounces of homemade fruit smoothie at work on Friday.
Goal
My goal for the upcoming week is to start exercising. I’m moving the coffee table out of the room so that I can dust off those DVDs and get to exercising.
Best part of the week
Hubby started the plan with me on Monday and has already lost 7 pounds. I am so proud of him. I witnessed a miracle, too. Well, at least a mirage. The man ate steamed broccoli. Ten years, and I’ve never seen that happen.
Yumminess
A Clothing Funny
Months ago, I bought a pair of pants that were too snug just knowing that I’d fit into them soon. Said pants hung in my closet with their marked down tag. I put them on this week, and they were too BIG.
For the birds
For the birds is a negative saying (e.g. “This hot weather is for the birds. It was 114 degrees when I got in my car today”). Speaking of hot weather and birds, I was with my sweet granny today who was out of Wild Bird Seed for the birds that visit her back stoop. So, we stopped at Lowe’s. While she waited in the climate controlled vehicle, I went in to return with a 17 pound bag of Wild Bird Seed. Then, I hauled that 17 pound bag of seed through the sweltering heat of the Lowe’s parking lot and through the parking lot back at her place.
I had an epiphany on that blazing trek (heat-induced, I’m sure). I realized how dang heavy seventeen pounds really is. As of today, I have lost 34 pounds–the equivalent of TWO of those bags of Wild Bird Seed. My poor body. Being that unhealthy was for the birds.
Fab-U-Lous
To quote a friend, “It’s hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell.” It sure is hot out there. Even in the sweltering, humid, soggy heat, it has been a FABULOUS day!
With Hubby’s strong back and arms, we were able to get our “new” dining room table into the narrow opening called a Doorway. Then, I had the most splendid and spontaneous afternoon in the convertible with the aforementioned friend cruising the antique and thrift stores of Hwy 14 and making new friends at a watering hole.
Now, I know this blog is about this “diet journey” thing, but I have been frank about my splurges. If you are in need of a frosty beverage try this: cranberry juice and Pinnacle whipped cream vodka.
After having divulged my splurges, I will tell you about this diet thing. I did meet this week’s self-imposed goal, and I’m up to a 30 pound weight loss! Eleven weeks past, and that’s a 2.7 pound average per week. Yessiree.
Well, here’s to those of us spunky enough to hold open those hellish gates. It sure is a fun crowd. Come on down, the water’s just right.
Personal Day
While at work yesterday, I decided that I needed two personal days. I literally chased my boss down in the parking lot to ask her.
I’m so pleased with my day that I must write about it. I slept until 9:00 and sat around in my robe until almost 11:00. I drove around in a red convertible, bought a beautiful lamp and some cute $15 sandals. I also shopped in the regular size department at Belk.
The funny thing is that I will probably take most of the stuff back. I am a notorious retail-returner. This time the returns will be because I know the stuff won’t fit for long, so I don’t want to keep it. The lamp stays. I am a lamp nut.
After all of my shopping, we threw the deliciously marinated London Broil on the grill, and I had a perfect salad topped with the neighbor’s perfectly-ripe, home-grown tomato.
Oh, about the red convertible. It’s in safe-keeping here while I have family relocating from TX to NC. What fun!!
And to think, tomorrow I get another personal day. Life is good.
Week Ten Reflect–shi-ons
I just wrapped up Week Ten, and I have lost 28 pounds. 2.8 pounds average a week. 28 pounds in 70 days. Is that good?
Why, heck yes it is. I continue to have people notice the difference which feels really good. I tucked in my shirt for work yesterday, and wore a belt, and felt okay about it. I updated my FB profile picture in which I am wearing white pants. (Gasp!)
Even with all of that positivity and feeling good, I still have the negative ninny gnawing at me some. I have been cruising the TSFL discussion boards and other blogs and see how quickly others are losing, and I got nothin’ on them. Here’s the thing, I splurge! I cannot make it through a weekend OP (=on plan…I’m seeing that’s the “diet” shorthand online lingo).
I do have a pattern. I weigh-in on Saturday morning, then splurge, then it’s usually Wednesday before I get the 1 to 2 pound gain back off, then Thursday and Friday I’m losing about 2 pounds. So, I figure that I could double my weight loss if I’d stay on plan. Last weekend was really tough. It was my birthday, and we were out all day Saturday and Sunday. I had FOUR restaurant meals. I ate a lot and I had alcohol and dessert.
Then there’s the logical me that tells that negative ninny…well, you know…it wasn’t nice. The logical me knows that if I am to make this thing last and work and be a whole lifestyle change that I have to allow myself the indulgences and not beat myself up for it. There is no timer. There is no rush. This is me incorporating this change into my love of good food and fellowship with friends and family.
A stumble may prevent a fall.
My fear is that I’ll fall off the wagon and let it roll so far away from me that it is out of sight. That’s happened before with Weight Watchers (on at least four or five occasions) and South Beach. I get bored with counting and weighing and journaling and planning, and so I stop. With TSFL – Medifast, the food part is really easy. I eat a bar and another bar and some soup, and I have to count to five (the amount of product I get a day), and it’s easy. It’s so damn easy. I can’t stop now.
And another positive thing about this thing is that even though I’m eating out a lot on weekends, I’m still making good choices–better than before. Before I’d have the bread and butter, the greasy appetizer, the meal, and the dessert. I’d be horribly miserable! Yuck! Those days are gone. Why just this morning as I dined with about 20 family members; I ate egg whites, turkey bacon, and half a biscuit. From there, we immediately drove to meet friends for lunch, and I had cake. It happened to be at one of THE best cake places in town. Yes, I ate cake and a half a biscuit, but three months ago it would have been a whole lot more. In choosing to stumble into the splurges, I am preventing myself from being miserable and resentful of the Diet.
That is that. My goal for tomorrow (Sunday) is no splurging, and my goal for the week is to get to 30 pounds.
sugarbirdie 